You Must Be Talking to Yourself

When my closest friends and I get together, we frequently talk about how as women and mothers, it often seems as though we are talking to ourselves — how sometimes we might as well be talking to the wall for all the good the words coming out of our mouths do. Sometimes, the best way to deal with something that is irritating is to make light of it, and share it with others who can understand and appreciate your plight. Therefore, inspired by Jeff Foxworthy’s “You Must Be A Redneck” comedy series, I decided to share a few examples of this incredibly frustrating phenomenon. I hope it makes you smile and inspires you to come up with a few of your own.

If you have repeatedly told your child to stop jumping on the beds before they fall off and hurt themselves, then you hear a loud thud and your child screaming bloody murder… you must have been talking to yourself.

If you have called five times for your children to “come here and pick this up” and after the fifth time there is still no sign of them… you must have been talking to yourself.

If you and your husband are moving a heavy piece of furniture and you start to loose your grip so you yell at him to wait but he keeps moving… you must have been talking to yourself.

If you are in the drive through and order a hamburger with mustard instead of mayo and they give you a hamburger with extra mayo and no mustard… you must have been talking to yourself.

If you take your car to a mechanic because there is a squeaky noise that you think is coming from the brakes, and after explaining your observations and diagnosis, he checks it out and reports back that among the numerous other (expensive) things he found wrong with your car, he wants to know if you heard the squeaking noise coming from your brakes… you must have been talking to yourself.

If you get a call from a telemarketer selling magazine subscriptions and about 2 sentences into their spiel you inform them that you are really not interested but they keep right on trying to sell you anyway… you must have been talking to yourself.

If you tell your kids to take their muddy shoes off outside the door so they don’t track it in the house, but they walk right in anyway… you must have been talking to yourself.

If you call your hubby to let him know that your evening plans got canceled so you would be home after all and then he comes home and asks why you aren’t getting ready to go… you must have been talking to yourself.

If your child asks you if they can have a snack, but dinner will be ready in about 30 minutes so you tell them no, but they get one anyway… you must have been talking to yourself.

If you ask your husband to do anything right before he sits down to watch the big game and around half time you notice it still isn’t done… you must have been talking yourself.

And if, after experiencing any of these things, you are wondering to yourself why nobody listens to anything you say and then you hear someone say, “Huh? What did you say?”… you know you are talking to yourself!