The idea of a wedding proposal is a romantic vision of a handsome man on one knee proclaiming his never-ending love to his girlfriend while he assures his commitment with a sparkling token of affection known as an engagement ring. While this is an exciting moment, that engagement ring can either be a beautiful symbol of their love proudly worn through the decades or it can become an awkward situation if it doesn’t suit the recipient. But how does a woman attempt to prevent such a situation when it’s up to the man to purchase the ring?
Be Blunt
Most women are uncomfortable with being outright honest. Women communicate with other women through subtle nuances and careful etiquette, unless they are best friends and then all the guards are let down. Isn’t your boyfriend your best friend? If you want to marry him he must be. So then why not be honest with him about your preferences for an engagement ring? You’d be surprised what a relief it is for most men when their sweetheart makes it easy on them and tells them exactly what they want. How best to bring up the subject? Well, that depends on your communication style. But if you’ve been talking about marriage, you may want to mention something about, “That ring I’ve always dreamed of having.” You never know, he may respond with, “Show me so I know what to get you when the time is right.” The reality is your man wants to get you an engagement ring you will adore.
Drop Obvious Hints
If you’ve tried to bring up the topic of the engagement ring you want but the conversation hasn’t happened as you’d like, it’s time to try the next approach: drop obvious hints. The majority of men won’t comprehend subtle hints so you need to make sure your efforts are obvious. Some suggestions:
Do you keep a personal blog that he occasionally reads? Post a picture of your dream engagement ring. If you need a reason why without it looking like you’re pressuring your guy into marriage, you can use the excuse that the post was in response to a friend’s question or a friend’s engagement ring was pretty but not what you would want so here’s what you’d like. This internet hinting approach would work on any social networking website (Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, etc).
Go on a date to a mall and when walking by a jewelry store suggest looking together. He’s likely to know what you’re up to, but if he’s planning to marry you but trying to keep the proposal a surprise, he’ll play it cool but be glad for the hint. If you see something you absolutely would like, be sure to make a big deal about it so he won’t forget which ring.
Whenever a friend is around showing off her engagement ring, take the opportunity to point out to your guy (in private) what you like or don’t like about her ring. You’d be surprised how men pay attention to those little things realizing that information will come in handy later on.
If He Insists on Choosing the Ring
So you had the “This is what I want for an engagement ring” conversation but your boyfriend is a traditionalist and insists on choosing the engagement ring himself. That doesn’t mean you have to be at the mercy of his double-pleated pants and old baseball cap fashion sense. Suggest that you can show him styles you like and then he can take that information and choose what he feels is best for you. It’s a fair compromise. After all, you’re the one that will be wearing it for the rest of your life. It needs to be a ring that you’ll never get tired of, won’t get in the way of your lifestyle, and you’ll be able to look at always with joy and happiness (not disappointment that he wouldn’t consider your preferences).
If You Feel You Can’t Bring Up the Topic of an Engagement Ring
If you feel like you can’t bring up the topic of the engagement ring you’d like to have, that’s probably a sign that you haven’t discussed the prospect of marriage with your sweetie (or at least haven’t gotten a positive reaction from him on the subject). If you haven’t discussed marriage, you’re not in a position to accept a marriage proposal anyway. Let’s be honest, while the way a marriage proposal is made, including the when and where and how, may be a surprise, the prospect of taking the relationship into the commitment of marriage shouldn’t be a surprise at all. No man would propose if he wasn’t sure she’d say yes. No woman should say yes without having an idea of his long-term plans and how that will effect her. So if you haven’t discussed marriage, or if it seems that he isn’t ready for marriage, then you have much bigger issues to tackle than getting the engagement ring you want. A proposal isn’t just the excitement of a pretty ring and planning a wedding, it’s making a life-long commitment.
