We all know it’s important to keep dating even as a married couple. But it’s all too easy for those married dates to get dull. What’s even worse is now that you’re married sometimes keeping up the best behavior is challenging, and keeping the date focused on quality fun time instead of day-to-day happenings becomes nearly impossible. What’s a couple to do?
Going out with your married friends can liven up the evening and help you see your spouse in a positive light. Whether it’s with another couple or even a couple of couples, a get-together among married couples for some socializing is a lot of fun with ample positive affects on your relationship.
Not Just for Teens
Teenagers love to do things in groups; why must we let go of that need when we get married? Sure, we don’t have the amount of free time we did when we were teenagers, but the value of friendships shouldn’t be denied. So set a date with your favorite couple. It doesn’t matter if it’s dinner at a restaurant, a trip to an amusement park, or a simple game night at someone’s home — it’s all about building those friendships and using that opportunity to also strengthen your marriage.
Being around other couples and having your behavior on public display will help keep you and your mate in the “date” mindset. Ever notice how we get nicer when our friends are around? It doesn’t mean we’re bad people for letting our standards of politeness down when we’re alone with our spouse, it just means we’re normal. For some odd reason it is human nature to take those that you are closest with for granted, and you know your partner is number one on that list. When you were newly together you were still trying to win each other over, but the winning is done and the laziness kicks in. So fight back that natural urge by being around other people. When you and your spouse know you’re being watched, you’re both likely to be nicer to each other. Granted this only works if you spend time with couples that also behave nicely towards each other, so find good friends to double date with.
Watch and Admire
Do you remember when you were first getting to know your spouse? Do you remember times when you’d see him interacting with other people and you’d sit back and admire him? Do that all over again. A double date provides the perfect opportunity to see his social skills in action, to listen to him tell funny stories, or even to notice his adorable shyness at times. Whatever it is that you found admirable in him when in social settings before becoming a couple is likely to show up again and you’ll find yourself swooning.
There’s nothing like a compliment from someone else to make you realize what you’ve got. A double date can bring that opportunity around. Whether it’s the other couple mentioning how cute you and your spouse are together or an individual compliment that your spouse hears about you, it sheds a positive light on your relationship and on each person. It makes you appreciate what you don’t always see because you’re too busy just getting through daily life to notice. It helps to have friends who do notice and speak up.
Watch and Learn
Being around other couples and watching how they interact can be a wonderful learning experience. Take an opportunity to go out with an older couple and learn some of the secrets of their long lasting marriage. Find out the truth of their struggles and how they overcame them.
Even if you go out with couples your own age, it’s useful to watch how others interact. Often you’ll see things you like and want to emulate, but just as often you’ll see habits that you are grateful do not exist in your marriage. Either way, you’ll learn something and increase your gratitude.