Dating Your Spouse


Do you remember when you met your spouse? Where you were, what you were doing, what they were wearing? How about your first date? How many outfits you tried on until you found the right one? Those feelings of excited nervousness you experienced until you saw each other? What about when you decided to continue to see each other? How your stomach would do a little somersault when you saw their number on the caller ID or heard their message on your voicemail? What about how much you looked forward to spending time with them, even if it was just running errands, watching a movie or a quick lunch in the middle of a hectic day? Remember all the cute, sweet, romantic, and considerate gestures you often did for each other? Awww, the memories!

Why is it that the only time you feel those feelings lately is when you take that short trip down memory lane? Yeah, I know, life gets in the way. Between work, kids (if you have them), family, and other commitments, those cute, sweet, romantic, and considerate gestures have been whittled down to an abbreviated form of acknowledgment at the beginning and possibly at the end of the day, if you’re lucky. Of course you tell yourself that you will make time for the love of your life tomorrow. But tomorrow rarely ever comes because, yup, you guessed it — life keeps happening. As a result, the two of you have or are growing apart. The unbreakable bond you use to share has become almost non-existent.

Have you ever heard the saying, “Whatever you did to get her/him, you need to do to keep her/him”? How true that is. So, whatever you did to woo your love to the alter, you ought to continue to do “until death do you part”. After all, that’s what you vowed to do. If you are wondering where to begin, how about with something small…

Dating Your Spouse Requires Some Personal Care

Most would think this is a no-brainer, but for some it is definitely worth mentioning. If you use to shower regularly but now think once a week is sufficient, think about restarting that cleaning habit. If you use to accommodate your partner’s preference for smooth skin (face or legs), but lately have left that off your to-do list, consider reacquainting yourself with a razor. If you use to take a few extra minutes to ensure a presentable appearance, but over the years have adopted a more sloven look, contemplate getting re-accustomed to using an iron, tucking in your shirt, and running a comb through your hair. Ladies, if you use to pluck, wax, and trim but recently have been giving the more natural look a try, pull out the grooming tools. If you use be several pounds lighter, but over the years you’ve let yourself go (and there are no medical reasons for it), then start a healthy eating and exercise program. In other words, if you use to be appealing to all five of your significant other’s senses, but lately not so much, do something about it. Do not get caught up in surface excuses such as you’ve gained weight, your current job doesn’t require all that, or you are with the kids all day.

Bring Ms. Manners Along While Dating Your Spouse

Generally speaking, children are instructed to use the words “please”, ”thank you”, and “excuse me” to show good manners and consideration of others. As they get older, their manners repertoire expands to include such things as holding the door open for other people, writing thank you notes, not talking back to elders, and not interrupting someone when they are talking. It’s kind of funny that regardless of how people conduct themselves when they are single, all those lessons on proper etiquette come rushing back when they start dating someone, then gradually flow out again when they’ve been dating awhile, let alone get married. Well, it’s time to start using those good manners again, such as calling when you are going to be late, and treating them in a respectful manner. Displaying behaviors that are considerate of your life partner will go a long way to putting the spark back in your relationship.

PDA is Very Acceptable When Dating Your Spouse

When was the last time you held your loved one’s hand when you were out and about? Put your arm around them when standing or sitting next to each other? How about giving them a kiss just because? Displays of affection, public or otherwise, are the norm for couples that are dating. You’ve seen those couples that sit next to, rather than across from, each other at a table for two; the ones that are hugging each other while standing in line at the movies, or the ones that seem to be so into each other that they are completely oblivious to the rest of the world around them. Do you remember when that was you and your lovebug? Well, guess what, that could be you again. Just reach out, grab your honey, pull them close, and tell them you love them!

No Need For Grand Gestures When Dating Your Spouse

When you and your sweetie were dating you probably didn’t make grand gestures all the time just to express your love. More than likely there were several small things that you did to show your affection, like watching their favorite movie with them when it’s not even close to one of your top tens, getting their car washed just because it needed it, picking up their favorite food when you ran out to the store, calling just to say “Hi!”, or passing up time to hang with your friends in order to do something your honey-bunny wanted to do. Your life may be different now, but you can still do things to show loving kindness without ulterior motives, such as cooking a special dinner for the two of you, arranging a babysitter so you can have some couple time, leaving a sweet “I love you” note in their purse or briefcase, or doing something around the house that they normally do (cooking, cleaning, organizing). Both men and women love romantic gestures, but what each individual person defines as romantic is not necessarily the same as what you see on TV or even what they use to think it was. Ask them what they consider a romantic gesture, and when they least expect it, do it (as long as it’s legal and within your ability to arrange it)!

Dating your spouse doesn’t have to be complicated or stressful. Think about some of the things you use to do for them, or together. If circumstances don’t allow for you to do some of those things now, then consider doing something similar that is feasible.The most important thing is to make your spouse your number one priority. Don’t wait for them to make the first move and don’t wait until tomorrow, for tomorrow is not promised. Do something every day to communicate how much they mean to you, starting today.

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