Being Sensitive about His Hair Loss
If your partner or husband has a lot more of his scalp showing than he did this time last year, if you’re finding alarming amounts of his hair in the vacuum cleaner, or if his hairline is accelerating toward the back of his head, it’s probably time to face the facts — he’s losing his hair. This can be something that is difficult for him to come to terms with, and every man handles it a different way. He may not want to talk about it at all, but on the other hand, he may joke about it, or even encourage others to joke about it. But how do you know if he’s really okay with it, rather than using humor to try to cover up his true feelings?
Losing hair is one of those things that is deeply personal, both in how it happens and how it is perceived. Some men start slowly losing their hair in high school, and have a lot of time to resign themselves to the fact that this is how things are going to be. Others suddenly start losing their hair at the age of 40 or older, and for them it can be a frightening reminder of not being quite so young anymore.
Bald jokes are some of the oldest and most worn-out jokes in the world; “Cue ball”, “Friar Tuck”, and “Mr. Clean” are all terms we’ve heard to describe balding men in an allegedly funny way. With some men, sometimes you get the sense that he doesn’t take it so seriously, and the jokes help to lighten the atmosphere, but other times there’s an almost imperceptible wince when he hears those words applied to his physical appearance. People may mean well, they may just be trying to have fun with him, but if he’s getting his feelings hurt, then the jokes need to stop. Of course, you can’t control what every person in the world might say to your husband, but you can certainly be the person that he knows he can trust to be kind to him and not make him feel worse than he already does.
The easiest way to get a sense of what he’s going through is to turn it around as if it were you losing your hair. Not so joke-worthy anymore, right? Just because it’s more common for men to lose their hair than it is for women, doesn’t mean it’s necessarily easy for them. Each man is different, and you have to talk to him to find out exactly how he feels about what’s happening. For some men, it’s no big deal, and they take it in their stride. Maybe baldness runs in their families and they were halfway expecting it. For others, though, hair loss can be equated in their minds to the loss of youth, virility, or strength. You don’t want to make them feel even worse by making fun of them.
A lot of men worry that without a full head of hair they will no longer be attractive, but most women either find bald men sexy, or are attracted to their men for reasons that have nothing to do with his hair (or lack of it). If your partner seems insecure about the way his looks are progressing, make sure you let him know how you see him. After all, men get insecure sometimes, too, so it’s good for him to hear from you that you still find him attractive.
Sensitivity in a relationship is important, and it works both ways. If your partner were constantly making jokes about your weight or the size of your feet, even if you were a good sport about it at first, the laughs would probably get stale pretty quickly. So if your man is losing his hair, find out from him how he feels about it, and respect those feelings by not making him feel awkward or the butt of dumb jokes. The jokes may seem cute or funny, but if they hurt his feelings, the minor laughs are simply not worth it.