4 Things You Need To Try To Solve Your Relationship Problems
Nothing feels more challenging than when your personal relationships are struggling. While you may feel hopeless and that you can’t start overcoming obstacles, as long as you are willing to work together as a couple you can almost certainly solve your problems if you are both committed to the project.
But when you need some concrete ideas as a jumping-off point it can be hard to know where to start. Luckily, we have compiled 4 ways you can start trying to get your relationship back on track. It may not happen overnight but anyone can definitely use these suggestions to better their relationships.
Dream Together
What happened to the young child in you who dreamt of being an astronaut? Maybe that’s not realistic anymore, that’s just fine. But you probably have dreams deep down inside of you. Chances are your loved one does too. When you take some time together to communicate and discover each other’s dreams you can start to overcome some of your relationship problems.
Sometimes when couples become too complacent with where they are at together they can begin to feel disgruntled. It can rough when you aren’t connecting the way you used to back at the beginning of your time together. So go back to the basics. Sit down and talk about your dreams.
Do you have a dream adventure? An educational dream? Make a list. Shoot for the moon. Then share your list with your partner. Let this deeper understanding of each other be a chance to work together to achieve some of your goals. You can’t go back and change the past, so if one or both of you has made a mistake, you have to decide if you’re willing to move past that.
If you are, then dream together! Rediscover each other for the person you love now, not the way they were six months or ten years ago. Love the one you’re with today! Remind yourself why their dreams are important and how they can help you move forward together. There’s a science to relationships, and connecting is part of that.
Meet Expectations
The hardest expectations to meet are the ones you don’t know about. I know you’re nodding your head right now because who in a relationship hasn’t experienced that phenomenon? When your significant other is upset with you because you didn’t do something that you had NO idea they wanted you to do, that’s the worse.
It can make you feel badly that you’ve let your partner down but also you are confused, and maybe even a little angry because how could you know better if they’ve never told you? When you begin to feel yourself growing annoyed or bothered by the expectation gap in your relationship, there are some concrete ways to solve that problem going forward.
Our expectations are based on our prior experiences. They are shaped by our families, friendships and past relationships and no one in the world will have the exact same expectations in their life because they’re deeply personal to individuals. Expectations are often unspoken because we believe they are self-evident.
Or we believe that because we a loved by someone they will already know what you need and want. We don’t want to seem overly demanding in a relationship but at the same time, it can be hard to get past what you thought should be happening. Expectations are actually a good thing, it means you see your relationship progressing.
We all have expectations, but the key point here is that you need to be aware of what your expectations are. And then you need to be able to communicate them with your partner in a healthy way. Occasionally, meeting an expectation your partner has will require sacrifice on your part. It may not feel natural to you, and you may have to stretch yourself.
But the growth and effort to not having an expectation gap will always make your relationship stronger. There are lots of areas where you may need to get together and focus on what the expectations may be: raising children, vacationing, how to spend holidays, finances. And your expectations for and with each other will evolve throughout your relationship. So grow together!
Find the Intimacy
Don’t worry, you don’t have to read about physical intimacy here. But what you need to consider may make you even more uncomfortable since we recommend getting back to a place of emotional intimacy. Fear keeps people from being vulnerable in relationships, but without vulnerability, you can never be fully in sync within your relationship.
Knowing your feelings, being comfortable expressing those feelings in a productive way. If you can’t express your feelings in the right place to the right person, namely your partner, you will lack a deeper understanding which results in a lack of emotional intimacy. And if your partner doesn’t feel supported they will begin to seek out other outlets for sharing.
Luckily you now know better! You don’t want this relationship to fail and because of that, you can make the effort and change to become the person who is the most connected to your partner. You can find out what your partner’s needs are. (Needs are different than wants in this situation.)
Remember that love isn’t based on understanding, that is a lie perpetuated by culture. Love is based on acceptance. You don’t need to understand where your partner is coming from, and they shouldn’t feel as though they need to justify every emotion or thought they have. In reality, there will be times they can’t get to the reason behind their feelings.
What you can do for your relationship is to merely need to accept who they are and where they are on any given day. By simply being present with your loved one and feeling free in those moments will lead to deeper intimacy as together you can discover legitimate needs. Which will lead to true acceptance and that’s all anyone really wants right? You want to be accepted too.
Relationships mean that you need to continue to love each other through your failures. Of course, there will be failures, it’s human nature. Just as you would want to be shown respect and love when you’re struggling, you need to extend that same respect to your partner.
So go ahead and be uncomfortable for a while. Dig deep and allow yourselves to be vulnerable together. Share and rediscover yourselves, just do it together and not separately. Build up your emotional intimacy and reap the rewards of a long, strong relationship.
Demonstrate Your Love and Appreciation
Put your love in action. Love is a verb after all. You need to be sure that you take this personal knowledge of your partner’s dreams and expectations you can demonstrate your understanding of them in big and little ways. This will also improve your emotion intimacy, since who doesn’t appreciate feeling loved?
Find your personal motivation to actively show your partner how much you love and appreciate them. Use your words, actions or both, just make sure that they can understand what you’re doing. For instance, you may think that doing the dishes is a sign that you love your partner but they may interpret this action as you trying to help more around the house.
Showing your love daily will allow your respect for your partner to grow. It doesn’t have to be a big deal either, a little note or extra hug in the morning can make a big difference. Actively show the one you love that you do, in fact, love them. You won’t regret letting your love strengthen by putting in some effort. Find the joy in the process, every day is a new chance.
Conclusion
Anyone can better their relationship whether you think you have problems or not. Complacency isn’t healthy for a partnership, you should always strive to work hard and do more together. You don’t have to attempt to solve all your problems in one day and you also don’t have to do it alone. If you’re really struggling there are professionals who can help you intervene as needed.
Loing your partner is a choice you need to make every day. If your relationship is worth it to you, then you can find a way to help solve the problems you’re facing. When you focus on rediscovering each other you will be able to move forward together in a strong partnership.
