10 Ways Allergies Can Ruin Your Life
Allergy treatments can help you feel a lot better, but they can also help keep your life from going down the tubes in an instant of sniffling, sneezing, watery-eyed, sleepy-headed dismay. Here are some ten ways that allergies could ruin your life.
- It’s your moment to make an unforgettable impression on your CEO. In the elevator, between the 52nd and 27th floor, it’s just the two of you. You introduce yourself to the legendarily germ phobic leader of your company just as a career-ending allergy sneeze sprays directly in her face.
- “Is that your final answer?” says Meredith Viera as the clock ticks down on the final question for a million dollars. You felt a sneeze coming during the commercial break and now you can’t answer. You shake your head, you’ve realized that the correct answer is C instead of A, but your approaching sneeze is keeping you from talking. 3 – 2 – 1 and the buzzer sounds. “I’m sorry, the correct answer is C.”
- You have finally built up the courage to break up with your boyfriend. But your plan to break up with him at dinner tonight falls flat when he hears your sneeze as “yeah sure!” to his proposal of marriage.
- You are American Idol’s rising star, but your allergies have you delivering the most “pitchy” version of Crazy millions of viewers have heard. Simon Cowell links up through satellite just to tell you how bad you are.
- You have a sound business plan and your start-up business is looking for funding. You meet the backer of your dreams when an allergy attack sends you to the restroom to gather yourself. You return just in time to see the limo pull away with your hopes trailing behind it like gas fumes.
- You’ve been matched with the potential love of your life on loveofyourlife.com. His brilliance, six-pack abs and kind generosity have dazzled you. But on your third date, he takes you to his hilltop dream home surrounded by a lush lawn which is then surrounded by acres of ragweed. Your ten minute tour of the house grounds results in a 3 hour visit to the hospital for anaphylactic shock. You’re cute in the gown, but he catches a glimpse of your white granny panties through the open back.
- You are cast in the multi-million dollar remake of Gone With the Wind. You arrive on set to find that your allergies to tree pollen on the Twelve Oaks location are making your eyes puff up so badly that the hounds on the set consider you one of their own.
- After getting your degree in environmental sciences, your passion for a special 200-year-old-tree is stirred when loggers threaten to cut it down. You chain yourself to the tree only to find that you’ve forgotten your allergy medication. You are forced to walk away ten minutes later.
- Your Twitter followers hang on your every character. Your allergies have your contact lenses so hazy that you can’t see that you’ve typed, ‘All my fool followers are awful.’ instead of ‘All my true followers are awesome.’
- After twenty months of unemployment, you’ve landed a second interview that can get your career back on track. You start to cough as your interviewers cologne throws you into an allergy attack. Through your gasps and hacking he hears, “You (cough, choke) smell. Can’t (cough, choke) stand it.” You leave after 15 minutes of wheezing.